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Also this week: what space aliens would make of Brexit and a Spurs supporter longs for home Monday I’ve long since given up making any New Year resolutions. Partly because I’ve already given up more things than it seems reasonable to ask of any person and my exercise habit has already resulted in one total knee replacement, but mainly because I can’t bear the sense of inevitable despair that comes from having broken most of the promises I made to myself by the middle of January. Perhaps the best I can manage is an acceptance that I’m never really going to be the person I would like to be. In this I have an ideal role model: Chris Grayling, our transport secretary, whose life goal appears to be to embrace his inner uselessness. It is one thing to first waste £50,000 on failing to organise a lorry jam in Kent on a Monday morning and then another £13.8m by awarding a ferry contract to a company that has no ferries, the mission statement of a pizza delivery company and directors whose main talent is corporate insolvency. But it takes a really special type of politician to make a virtue of all these failings in his responses to an urgent question in the House of Commons. Grayling’s main line of defence was that no money had actually been wasted in proving to the EU we weren’t ready for a no-deal Brexit because none of the £13.8m would be spent if no ferries ran. He appeared to have no idea that the whole purpose of a contingency plan was for there to be a contingency. I’m going to miss him when he’s gone. Continue reading...