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Newz Chooze

Boras held his annual GM Meetings media scrum on Wednesday, and added some new Borasisms to the lexicon. The yearly Scott Boras offseason lecture at the GM Meetings is always a treat, filled with puns and admonishments and promises. He usually holds court in front of dozens of media members and proceeds to go Full Boras in his criticisms of the league or fluffing up his free agent clients looking to cash in during any given offseason. This year, he began with a nine minute monologue about declining attendance and the competitiveness of teams. Boras’ speech is always interesting and most of the time he makes accurate points even if you don’t agree with his bombast. But that’s not entirely why people enjoy his speeches, we enjoy them because of the puns. Ohhhh the puns, the turns of phrase, the ridiculous poetry of a baseball agent burrowing in to a very particular brand. In honor of his specific form of pageantry, we made a little quiz to see how well you know Boras. This is “Did Scott Boras Say This?” Best of luck! 1. “I don’t think any of my clients consider us rivals.” 2. “He’s listened to a lot of things...I think he’s going to hear everything from every one.” 3. “The fans of the Marlins have brought the M-I-A to Miami.” 4. “They have stifled growth to a point where it is obvious to all. A few weeks ago it was a Rocket Ship, now it is a Blimp!” 5. “We have a cancer.” 6. “It’s fashionable. It’s historical. It’s elite. Global certainly. And certainly it has inspirations that deal with great shoes and great hair.” 7. “There’s only one thing in life, and that’s the continual renewal of inspiration.” 8. It’s a good thing not to be too involved with what you have done. Scroll down to see the answers! . . . . . . . . . . . Answer key: 1. This could easily be from The Good Fight or Entourage or something but nope, this is Scott Boras talking about former agent and new Mets GM Brodie Van Wagenen. Brutal. 2. As Sarah Sanders or KellyAnne Conway as this sounds, this was also Boras. This time discussing Harper’s plans in free agency. 3. Yes, obviously this was Boras. He also said the Blue Jays are suffering from the “Blue Flu,” and that in Minnesota, “sometimes only one of the Twins shows up.” 4. No, this was Donald Trump talking about his Twitter followers. But Boras did describe Harper’s free agency as “the rocket ship of opportunity is just blasting off.” 5. Yes, this was Boras. He referred to the current state of teams not trying to win, and getting draft picks as a reward, as a cancer. 6. Yes, as Trump-like as this sounds this was Boras. Talking about Harper’s entree into free agency. 7. No, this was Diana Vreeland, editor of Harper’s Bazaar from 1936-1962. Boras did kick off Bryce Harper’s free agency by dubbing it “Harper’s bazaar.” 8. This was actually Mick Jagger, but Boras could probably say this about one or two contract negotiations he’s been a part of.